playin' cherokee

hey, brady bravers ... if'n you're lookin' to pay to play [indian], then check out this ad by Reverend Tim Cottonmouth:

"This here's the Reverend Tim Cottonmouth. Speakin' to ya from the national I Wannabe a Cherokee network in Tulsa, Oklahoma. ...

Ifn your having a little tribal uncertainty, ifn the drum is telling ya the Apache, the Choctaw, the Osage is not fer you, ifn ya say Iroquois and the white man thinks you're from the Middle East, then come on down to the Cherokee Meeting House.

Ifn y'all had bad credit, a turn a bad luck, think to yourselves, Indian brothers and sisters, maybe y'all need a new identity. An' ya can have it right here, no questions asked an'no references needed. Y'all had grandmommas, ain't no more needed than that. ...

Send us your money now, Indian brothers and sisters. ... Don't be left out of the new Cherokee Nation.
Cherokee. We mean Indian."*
*source: Cherokee novelist Betty L. Bell's Faces in the Mooon, pages 57-58

or as a real Cherokee friend has reported to the BBB, beware of a woman on the powwow trail who claims to be Cherokee and pronounces Tahlequah, the home of the Cherokee Nation, as Tuh-lee-kwuh! wonder if she also drinks Cherikee Red? (yes, a real sugar-filled drink owned by a subsidiary of Dr. P/7-Up)

as the BBB, in academic settings with ethnic fraudin' professors, has sang it before (along with a martin guitar) in the key of D:

all the world's a cherokee / at least that's how it seems to me / people talkin' loud in the academy / when they don't even know a real cherokee