Showing posts with label brady. Show all posts
Showing posts with label brady. Show all posts

10 October 2008

Sailing with 1492 Sales at Old Navy

heya, brady braves ... here at the bureau, we have recently discovered a place that sells clothes and clothing accessories--it's something called "old navy," but we can change that (as goes with colonizer naming) ... for since we have discovered it, we lay claim to it in the name of patriarchal leader mike "big eagle of large nest" brady ... hence forth, we proudly take ownership as allowed to us through the doctrine of discovery*

*special thanks to christopher columbus, the american discoverer, who helped to facilitate this colonizing takeover ... his name was recently evoked in an old navy promotion for celebrating columbus day and 1492 (aka columbus' inaugural year for soon-to-be enslaving and killing) by choosing from 1,492 items under $14.92! old navy celebrated a bit prematurely as the sale was last weekend, even though Stolen Land Day, er, Columbus Day ain't until october 13 this year ...

btw, Glamour.com's daily style blog promoted the sale in its story "Party Like its 1492 at Old Navy this [past] Weekend" ... the blog is called "Slaves to Fashion," but you'd think the author Tracey Lomrantz could have gotten more creative by briefly calling it "Slaves to Columbus" ... unlike Ms. Lomrantz, some Indigenous Peoples can probably relate to this "1492 party" ...

12 September 2008

Brady Bravin' on Book TV

for those of you brady braves who can’t make it to the comanche nation casino for tonight’s fights, you’re still in for mighty fine TV treats on CSPAN2 this weekend …

if'n you're having difficulty with any writing projects, then sounds like you need your BookTV ... this saturday night: ultra-conservative Pat “Build-a-Wall-Then-Build-it-Bigger” Buchanan--your close pro-Indian Country friend and mine--will share what cspan calls "insightful" thoughts about his "writing methods" … if this don't help writer's block, what will? ... and if that weren’t enough, why, buchanan’s talk will be followed by a tour of his library (only on cspan, ennit?) ... no doubt Ruth Beebe Hill and Carlos Castaneda and Chief Red Fox and Ian Frazier books will be featured …

and here’s another eye-catching talk for this weekend's Book TV: "Leslie Sanchez, Los Republicanos: Why Hispanics and Republicans Need Each Other" (Sunday 1:15 PM ET) ... "need" is such a strong word, ennit? But where’s the Indian-ized version of this talk: "Redfaced Republicans: Why More Indians than just Charles Curtis Should Assimilate and Destroy Indigenous Sovereignties" ...

03 September 2008

Indian + Vegan = Indivegan?


straight from the bbb inbox, courtesy of a brady brave at nc a&t university: "On the Fox Sunday gas bag show they said that Palin's parents have a bumper sticker on their truck: Vegetarian = Old Indian Word for Bad Hunter." (apparently, 18th-century pundit andy rooney once said this with "lousy" instead of "bad.") man, i feel for those non-bumper-sticker-applicable Indians who don't even eat meat ... as for Indians as "bad hunters," guess they weren't as lucky as the Settlers ... buffalo, for example, were too busy--as Stephen Colbert's character said in the "Trail of Tears" episode of Strangers with Candy--getting in the way of the White Man's bullets ... but on a brighter note, i wonder if Palin's parents drive a jeep "cherokee" or a "pontiac" firebird? perhaps she'll address this tonight at the RNC ...
update: the closest Palin's rhetoric got to Indians was a very quick post-occupation, post-union, post-hobby reference to her husband's "ancestry": "Todd is a story all by himself. He's a lifelong commercial fisherman ... a production operator in the oil fields of Alaska's North Slope ... a proud member of the United Steel Workers' Union ... and world champion snow machine racer. Throw in his Yup'ik Eskimo ancestry, and it all makes for quite a package." with that "throw-in," sounds like a borderline exoticized "package" or recipe: "add in two drops of 'Eskimo' and voila: you, too, can build a fire from snow" ... and how about "ancestry"? like "heritage" (i.e., "yeah, i got a story or two about great-great-great Eskimo grandmothers")? additional reading on Palin and Indigenous Peoples: "Todd Plain No Poster Boy for Yup'ik ..."

28 August 2008

one Flo to go, please

heya ... brady here ... in a rush 'cause i'm [ironically] waiting in e-line for my washington redskins flo card ... what's the "flo," you ask? ... why, it's the latest must-have for us supporters of our redskins ... it'll get us through lines at 'skins' ball games at least 30 seconds faster (guaranteed!) ... and if half-a-minute closer to my $349 seat can happen with prompt payment of just $100/yearly, then that's a bundle of buffalo nickels well spent ...

and it makes sense that such an important and valuable card for getting me through redskins' gameday lines 30 seconds faster would require the following: "It is MANDATORY for enrollment [into flocard] that TWO forms of identification documentation are brought to the enrollment." no problem there--i got xeroxed copies of my "Whirling Rainbow" fan club member card and--thanks to my well-spent $600 to Grand Chief Thunderbird IV--my "Kaweah Indian Nation" citizenship card. (attn: naysayers--i'm confident that the illegalities and disputes of my Kaweah-ness will be overturned anyday now, and then i'm in like flynn and on the go with my flo) ...

meanwhile, nba coach phil jackson is speaking on university of north dakota's "fighting sioux" mascot and logo ... as reported by usa today earlier this week, "Jackson did not specifically say UND should do away with the nickname, but he asked officials to ponder what could be gained by keeping it. Jackson said he had been asked by his Lakota friends to speak out against the nickname. He said UND has a chance to embrace change." what a slap from jackson to his alma mater during und's honoring of him ... it's like you just can't "honor" anyone nowadays without them speaking out against your indian mascots ...

ya ever see that 1999 outside the lines episode on "THE native american sports experience"? (THE one experience as shared by millions of native peoples, ennit? yes, that's THE one) ... it discussed jackson's "lakota teachings": "Phil Jackson, the former Bulls' and current Lakers' coach, uses teachings of the Lakota Sioux in his coaching. He would burn sage to cleanse the team of negative energy and show game film intercut with clips from a movie about a Sioux warrior. [val kilmer in thunderheart?] Jackson says he decorated the Bulls' team room at the Berto Center with Native American artifacts to reinforce in the players' minds that their journey together each season was a sacred quest."

14 August 2008

what's the word? grand chief thunderbird!

heya, brady braves ... long time, no blog ... into fightin' illini country now ... no "chief illiniwek"-rezurrected spottings thus far (other than seeing pro-"chief" bumper stickers and "we love OUR chief" t-shirts and pro-"chief" yard signs and "chief before charmin" TP and ...) ... gotta love those folks who love their indians (over real indigenous folks) ...

heya, remember stephen colbert claiming 1/13 chickasaw-ness before winona laduke on the colbert report? now check out the colbert retort authored by j.d. colbert, a real chickasaw ... in case the link doesn't work later down the road, it's called "indian is as indian does" ...

as you faithful brady braves know by now, we here at the bureau like frauds; for without them, we'd have lesser material with which to work ... and dangit if we don't find it an outrage that one of 'em's in legal troubles right now in kansas ... as noted today at indianz.com ("leader of fake tribe guilty in immigration scam"), "A federal jury found a Kansas man who claims he is the leader of a tribe guilty for scamming immigrants with promises of U.S. citizenship. Malcolm Webber calls himself the Grand Chief Thunderbird IV of the Kaweah Indian Nation. Prosecutors said he sold $600 'tribal membership' cards to immigrants and told them it would help them cross the border and win U.S. citizenship."

well, sounds like the jury is anti-Family Guy ... so what if webber confused his "grand chief" moniker with peter griffin's great-grandfather's name "chief grand cherokee" (whom peter initially called "jeep grand cherokee") in the first-season episode "the son also draws" ... and sounds like the jury is anti-thunderbird wine, too ... ol' school'ers--you know what's the word: it's [grand chief] thunderbird [iv] ... and how's it sold? ... good and cold ... but apparently, the jury ain't hearing that ...

perhaps it'd do the kaweah indians good to sit-in on an upcoming panel at the Cherokee Nation's State of Sequoyah Conference ... the session's titled “Stealing Sovereignty: Fraudulent ‘Tribes’ and ‘Individuals’” ... heck, the kaweahs could even be the subtitle's guests of honor, ya know? ... but if all the world's a cherokee and if all the cherokees attend, then there just might be a whole lotta stealin' going on ... still, with whirling rainbows and big chief thunderbirds in attendance, wouldn't seeing the name tags alone be reason enough to attend?

28 July 2008

Matt Lauer spotted at IHOP on Mars ...

hey, Lauer-loving Brady Braves ... on this morning's today show, mr. "where in the world is matt lauer?" previewed what was coming up post-commercial break: "You, too, can conquer the space frontier if you have enough money" ... [cue Lauer smile]

just alter-spin "space" to "[wherever-Indigenous-Peoples-were/are]," add "guns" and "greed" after "money," and you've got yourself, today show fans, an historical global formula--from "australia" to the "americas"--tried-and-true ... as for the segment's topic? sir richard branson's virgin atlantic globalflyer ... for just $200,000, you can sign up for travelling to space, the new "colonization-awaits" vacation destination ... sweet ...

speaking of sweet, what was the first commercial after the segment on space travel? IHOP's "Discover America Pancakes" ad, of course ... yeah, IHOP's only about 516 years behind on that one ... we all know Mr. Ohio State Capital discovered america ... don't listen to those sources that tell ya Native folks were here pre-1492 ... those are the same sources that'll try to brainwash you into believing that Ind'ns, not IHOP, discovered pancakes ...

so, let us envision IHOP, the space-colonization, today show promoting pancake house, on Mars [sorry, Pluto--you don't count] ... and let us start a campaign for Lauer to appear in the soon-to-be ad campaign "IHOP Discovers Space Pancakes [and then profits from the Indigenous beings of outer space]" ... so sweet again ...

speaking of travels, the bureau of brady braves is relocating (again) this week ... something about ind'ns and relocation, ennit? ... once settled in like a 1907 sooner settler, we'll be back to the blogosphere ... take care ...

16 July 2008

the "r-word" chronicles ...

First, belated happy 108th b-day wishes to Martha Berryhill, Muscogee/Creek.

Next, a brady [johnny] bravo [yes, a brady bravo is a good thing] to Ian Thomsen, a senior writer for Sports Illustrated, who recently wrote advice to Seattle's NBA franchise owner as he, an Okie, moves the club to Indian Territory/Oklahoma. On what not to call the new team, Thomsen says, "And don't get me started on how wrong it is to call a team the 'Redskins.'" Good to hear from someone at such a recognized sports news source.

Less recognized is something called BleacherReport.com. Robert Johnson, a writer over there, posted one of those articles yesterday, you know, the kind that's replete with the same pro-"Redskins"-as-mascot arguments. Our response, posted at the same site, reads as follows:

"Mr. Johnson: We ran across your article via http://www.indianz.com/. You wrote, "Our story begins nearly 20 years ago. During the early '90s a new fad was born. The phrase 'Politically Correct' entered the lexicon. [...] The 'Native Americans' began to find other places where they felt slighted: sports teams."

OUR STORIES (i.e., Indigenous Peoples' stories) began long before this one, on lands known dominantly today as "America." As for saying that "Indian"-related mascots did not become an issue until "the early '90s" for "Native Americans" (i.e., a non-Native-constructed term), you have thus ignored the work of preceding decades. Since the 1960s, over 3,000 schools (from elementary to college) have dropped "Indian"-related monikers. Folks, including non-Natives, are starting to understand.

Your perspective, Mr. Johnson, is arguably part of a shrinking collective of mindsets that supports "Redskins" and Wahoos as mascots and logos. You seemingly do not know what it means to be Ind'n, to be Indigenous, in the 21st-century. You're a newcomer to these lands, yet this is how you speak to Ind'ns? How can you tell folks, especially Indigenous youth, what should or should not offend them? It's not about being politically correct; it's about being humanly respectful (and respectfully human). Although you show little respect to Native Peoples in your trite, flawed writing, we still wish you well and hope that your research will lead you towards learning in good ways from your elders.

Respectfully,

Brady, http://www.bradybraves.blogspot.com/


UPDATE:

here's Robert Johnson's "starting-to-'get-it'-but-still-far-from-'it'" response to readers (and notice the apology to the if-offended, also known as an "apologizing-but-i-don't-know-why-i-am-apologizing" apology):

"So many responses, so many valid points. When I initially wrote this article, my intent was not to offend, but to point out how crazy this "politically correct" world has become.

It was never my intent to offend any of the surviving relatives of the indigenous people of what is now North America. If any were so offended, then I sincerely apologize.

Many have been quick to label me a racist based on my views. That's fine, you have that right.
I have never had anyone refer to me as a Redskin in anger or disgust. So my niavete I guess would be in the fact that I would never think to refer to anyone in that manner as the team name has a positive-feeling attachment for me...not a negative one. I'm not alone in this. The Washington Redksns have a huge fan-base. Hundreds of thousands of fans who all probably feel pretty much the same way. The images of a bounty on the head of every "red-skin" is not what I associated with the term, it was my team. I still feel that way. I will be honest and say that until it was brought up, and all of this fuss was created, I never would have known that word would have such power over anyone as to hurt them or cause anger.

This isn't a retraction, and it doesn't mean that my opinion has changed. To be honest, the only thing that would change my opinion would be if the team did change it's name because then all that would be left for me with that specific term would be an out-dated racial slur."