St. Paul Pioneer Press update ...

Brady Braves: remember the november 13 St. Paul Pioneer Press headline about adrian peterson's knee injury: "The Vikings must now fight the battle of... Wounded Knee"? (see our november 14 post for additional info.)

replying last friday to a brady_braves_bureau email, the senior sports editor wrote, "Thank you for writing. I can't tell you how bad I feel about this [headline]. I will say to you what I have been saying to everyone who has written to us about this. In hindsight, it was a poor choice of words, and I apologize for that. We absolutely should have been more sensitive. I appreciate your feedback."

and we appreciate this sincere apology. we are glad to say that we won't be placing the st. paul pioneer press sports folks into the bureau of brady braves "hall of shame." besides, the hall is so crowded already with the chief wahoos, wannabe yahoos, billy jacks, and those texas-rangerin', infomercialin', mike huckabee endorsin' chuck "chuckabee" norrises.

First of the Mohicans?

hey, brady bravers ... espn.com is playing indian via speech today ... they're addressing "mohawk" hairstyles in college football, asking who is "first," not last, "of the mohicans." greg garber's article "does the mohawk make the man?" begins, "Some believe it was University of South Florida senior linebacker Ben Moffitt. Others credit junior center Jake Griffin. If it's a stalemate, freshman wide receiver Carlton Mitchell is more than willing to claim responsibility for being the first of the Mohicans." man, we at the bbb didn't know mr. mitchell was "indian." playing ball for south florida, he's playing indian a long way from home, eh? as garber actually takes the time to add, "The Mohawk was first identified on Mohawk Iroquois Indians in upstate New York by a Dutch Reform church minister named Johannes Megapolensis more than 350 years ago."

we pity the espn fool because everyone knows that the mohawk began in 1980s hollywood with [cue the theme music] the A-Team.

knee injury in minnesota = wounded knee,1890??

the bureau is a fan of adrian peterson, not necessarily because he plays for the vikings up the road from the bureau's new home but because he played college ball at OU aka the university of oklahoma. and yes, we wish him a speedy recovery from his knee injury against the packers this past sunday.

but folks like those at the St. Paul Pioneer Press aren't helping much with their tuesday, november 13, headline about peterson's injury: "The Vikings must now fight the battle of... Wounded Knee." as observed by professor eric buffalohead, the headline is used for "a story on Adrian Peterson's injured knee. Why on earth does it reference Wounded Knee? What does a football injury have to do with the 1890 massacre of over 300 Lakota men, women, children and elders by US Soldiers in 7th cavelry? This headline only appears in the print version, not online. Spread the word to let the Pioneer Press know they should be apologizing for such poor taste in choice of a headline."

or how about this blogger titling his post as "Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee: Is the NFL Any Good Any More?" referencing dee brown's novel yet still "playing" with serious words in order to make a reference to a football player's injury? man, these folks look to be trying out for the bureau of brady braves' hall of shame ...

post-halloween ...

hey, brady bravers ... did you have a pseudo-"indian"-free halloween? no little pseudo-"indians" running savage-like in your neighborhood? did you not see that peanuts t-shirt the other day in kohl's department stores on which marcy is dressed up as a witch and her friend peppermint "hey, chuck" patty dressed as an "indian" with single-feathered headband? or how about the sweatshirt at another store with winnie the pooh trick-or-treating as an "indian"? man, winnie, say it isn't so. thought halloween costumes were more about witches' hats, mummy cheesecloth, ghost bed sheets, and teenage mutant ninja turtles, not about faux "indian" pipes, faux "indian" buckskin, faux pocahontas mini-skirts, and faux headdresses. some adults, apparently a couple of faculty and/or staff members, at a major university in ohio didn't get that memo, from what i've heard. they dressed as "indians" like so many others have done and continue to do. must have been a case of post-wahoo-losing blues from not making it to the world series ... again ...

or what about blackface costumes? since 2001, there have been many recorded instances (and no telling how many undocumented) of blackface parties hosted by predominantly white fraternities. the "mummy" costume gets replaced by blackface "mammies." the white sheets for caspar-like ghosts get transmorphed into kkk costumes. from auburn's 2001 party (disturbing pics included) to colorado college's 2007 golf outing (in which four of the players reenacted sitcom characters from family matters) to blackface at yale university last week (and blackface stops in-between at virginia, texas a&m, connecticut, syracuse, etc.), blackface ain't slowing down much. (the bureau here especially encourages brady braves to check out that link to an impressive article from two students at yale.)

and don't forget brownface "south of the border" and twisted "cinco de mayo" gatherings, such as those at university of delaware and uc-santa clara. they remind us, among other things, that racialized costumes aren't limited to appearances on october 31 of each year.

happy post-halloween,

bureau of brady braves

update on nov 6: another instance of blackface, this one with a homeland security employee who won an award for best costume: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21644765/

this just in: Real Native Defeats Psuedo-"Indians"

after the red sox were down three games to one in the american league championship series, i predicted they'd come back and knock out those pseudo-athletic "indians." sure enough, last night, the boston red sox defeated the wahoo-logo-wearing cleveland "indians" 11-2 in game 7. and guess who assisted in that KO? red sox outfielder jacob ellsbury, a real native, a dineh/navajo. when asked why one should cheer for the sox, blogger pepe lepew's top reason was, "The Red Sox have an Indian on their roster, not on their hat." well said, mr. lepew (who also reported that foxnews.com had a headline on oct 17 reading "Indians Scalp Red Sox").

and another twist? a 1675 law banned real Native Peoples from entering boston, and the law was never repealed. finally, in 2005, politicians voted to repeal the archaic law. that's good news for ellsbury.

wonder, though, if boston could replace the law with a new ban, one which keeps out bad redfaced impersonations of "indians," like "chief wahoo" with his grinning pearly whites? (man, the bureau of brady braves ain't ever known an indian with such white teeth! that's what i told a dental assistant once a couple of years ago when she had me reclined in the chair for a teeth cleaning, and there above me on the ceiling? a giant "chief wahoo" poster. yet another way to get kids to relax in the dentist's chair, eh? but at whose expense?)

chris "clueless of columbus" berman

so, it's already october 9, brady bravers. continuing to be quiet in the blogosphere but busy elsewhere in life. had hoped to return strong to blogging, but don't give up on bradybraves.blogspot.com. perhaps middle buffalo and the other braves will get fired up soon and send out smoke signals as misguided as chris berman's comment last night on ESPN. the bob costas of ESPN, berman told viewers yesterday, "happy columbus day!" and then went on to associate "columbus" with having "discovered america." what a trip. i thought the notion of a european "discovering" a place already inhabited by millions was rather passe, like so-last-century. apparently, berman (who's known for adding in clever middle names to players' names) didn't get the memo. and i guess he's never heard the bureau of brady braves' friend's call for changing "columbus day" to "stolen land day." maybe frybread man can "chief noc-a-homa" (going ol' school here for those keeping score with pop culture references) some sense into the baseball-announcing berman.

coming soon ...

greetings, brady braves ... hope you had a good august and a good september ... coming soon: the return to the blogosphere of peter "middle buffalo/leaping lizard" brady ... wonder if he gets a mention in maureen mccormick's (actress who portrayed marcia brady) upcoming book? thus far, the media's attention is on that brady brave sister known as "dove of the morning light."

be well, friends,

bureau of brady braves

a bloggin' hiatus ...

hey, brady bravers. due to this and that and another, the bureau of brady braves is closing, as far as new posts go, in august and september. the bbb continues to welcome your ideas at brady_braves_bureau@yahoo.com for what you would like to see the bureau address in the fall. we sure appreciate the attention you've shown, and we will see you in october with brady braving goodness once the bureau relocates and resettles, this time in minnesota, and once the staff returns from the bloggin' hiatus to bradybraves.blogspot.com … take care.

blackface, a redface cousin ...

check it out: blackface, german-style, as reported and impressively commented on at BlackWomenInEurope.Blogspot.com. english translations appear beside these degrading german ads.

"some teachers suck, no teachers sucks even more."

"i'm waiting for my last day in school, the children in africa still for their first one."

"in africa, kids don't come to school late, but not at all."

"in africa, many kids would be glad to worry about school."

brady brave thought of the day ...

"Once we abandoned ourselves for television, the box that separates the dreamer from the dreaming. It was as if we were stolen, put into a bag carried on the back of a whiteman who pretends to own the earth and the sky. In the sack were all the people of the world. We fought until there was a hole in the bag." ~Joy Harjo, "A Postcolonial Tale"

INDIANA-nizing INDIAN play

hey, brady bravers ... INDIAN play appears to be alive and well in southern INDIANa ... here are pics from a trip to the hills of brown county last month ... the left one is from one of those ol' time photo studios. poor guy couldn't decide whether to play cowboy, indian, or cavalry; so he went for the white-indian trifecta. regardless, bobby "little bear who loses way" brady will be glad to welcome him into the brady brave hall of shame.

the other two are off a back road in brown county. the sign with the older "indian" welcomes ya to "camp palawopec." another sign (not pictured) a few miles earlier depicts a younger "indian," suggesting that you may age by the time you get to the camp but that everyone can be a "kid at heart" when they join in redface revelry? the pic on the right is a "tipi" out on camp palawopec's lawn. i hear this lone "tipi" will star in the upcoming disney flick Last of the Tipis.


turns out this camp palawopec has a website, which includes this pic of one its campers in "warpaint" doing a bad grizzly imitation. just $495 for a week at the camp. more payin' for playin', eh?


btw, no chuck norris spottings in indiana. where ya at, walker?

pay to play? part II

following-up to a previous post ... the bureau of brady braves declares here and now that one does not have to pay to play [NDN]. during the past two ventures to a local toys r us for the latest in elmo gear, the bbb has spotted the dvd version of disney's peter pan playing on a tv near the registers. and both times, it's been different scenes in which non-native characters play "indian." (is that all they do in that movie?) having seen this reminds us that we brady braves don’t need to pay to play.

rather, just hang out in toys r us and watch peter pan. for further authenticity in "indian" play (authentic pseudo-"indians"?), be like zack "running zack" morris in that 1990 episode of nbc's teen sitcom saved by the bell in which running zack dresses up in full headdress for a class presentation. for how-to instructions, tune into tbs. or tune into tv land and nick-at-nite and superstation wgn, where you can learn from barney "chief noogatuck" fife how to choke on a pipe in the andy griffith episode "the pageant," learn from granny clampett how her great-great granny "scalped redskins" (her words) in the hillbillies episode "family tree," learn from peter and bobby brady (before they receive "indian" names) how to run around in construction paper feathers, clap hand to mouth, and yell "woo woo woo" (or is it "waa-waa-waa"?), and learn in a 2006 episode of disney's suite life of zack and cody how to construct a headdress.

really, brady braves, why pay to play when you can learn the ways of opie's tomahawk club in andy griffith and bart's pre-teen braves in the simpsons? why pay to play when you can learn how to "count to five in american indian" from ralph malph in happy days? and the list of "how to play" as according to sitcom stars goes on and on--from 1950s lucy to today ...

or scratch the above and just call up chuck "walker, texas ranger" norris for all your brady bravin' occasions. unless he's busy infomercialin' the latest in fitness equipment or hangin' out on the bogus texas cherokee rez in hallmark channel reruns, walker should be ready to show you a few moves he swiped from billy jack.

bbb

Descartes Indians

brady braves:

here's your peter "middle buffalo/leaping lizard" brady thought of the day,

courtesy of drew hayden taylor:

"Descartes Indians"

=

"I think Indian,

therefore I am Indian."

playin' cherokee

hey, brady bravers ... if'n you're lookin' to pay to play [indian], then check out this ad by Reverend Tim Cottonmouth:

"This here's the Reverend Tim Cottonmouth. Speakin' to ya from the national I Wannabe a Cherokee network in Tulsa, Oklahoma. ...

Ifn your having a little tribal uncertainty, ifn the drum is telling ya the Apache, the Choctaw, the Osage is not fer you, ifn ya say Iroquois and the white man thinks you're from the Middle East, then come on down to the Cherokee Meeting House.

Ifn y'all had bad credit, a turn a bad luck, think to yourselves, Indian brothers and sisters, maybe y'all need a new identity. An' ya can have it right here, no questions asked an'no references needed. Y'all had grandmommas, ain't no more needed than that. ...

Send us your money now, Indian brothers and sisters. ... Don't be left out of the new Cherokee Nation.
Cherokee. We mean Indian."*
*source: Cherokee novelist Betty L. Bell's Faces in the Mooon, pages 57-58

or as a real Cherokee friend has reported to the BBB, beware of a woman on the powwow trail who claims to be Cherokee and pronounces Tahlequah, the home of the Cherokee Nation, as Tuh-lee-kwuh! wonder if she also drinks Cherikee Red? (yes, a real sugar-filled drink owned by a subsidiary of Dr. P/7-Up)

as the BBB, in academic settings with ethnic fraudin' professors, has sang it before (along with a martin guitar) in the key of D:

all the world's a cherokee / at least that's how it seems to me / people talkin' loud in the academy / when they don't even know a real cherokee

the siouxpranos

greetings, brady bravers ... we've been at the native art market in INDIANapolis and been away camping brady brave style in southern INDIANa ... will resume bloggin' bravely, brady bravely, soon ... meanwhile, check out our cousins' artwork at http://www.noconaburgess.com/ and http://www.quanahparkerburgess.com/ ... and for those looking for the sopranos, indian-style, check out the siouxpranos ...

paying "indians" to play "indian" ...

thanks to Newspaper Rock (Where Native America Meets Pop Culture) for Indian Country Today link to an article entitled "paying to teach and 'play indian.'" folks across the u.s. continue to pay for "indian" spirituality. as D'Shane Barnett (Mandan and Arikara) was quoted in the article, "People cannot claim to understand our ways with one breath and then offer to sell them with their next breath.''

here at the bureau (a free site, incidentally, for all the brady bravers out there, unlike supposed "new age native healing" sites where you, too, can find the inner-"indian" for just $99), we don't want to disrespect those who are trying to find their way in this world. but some folks are profiting from other people who, as Barnett has been told by "a couple of different medicine people," are "filling a void.'' cultural appropriation time and again for hundreds of years here, and it continues time and again. (NBC's Today Show, as the bbb has mentioned before, helps to promote it.) many people are seriously hurting, are in need of healing, and others are cashing in on that.

here at the bureau, we'd add that in many settings, the phrase paying "indians" has interelated ambiguities: 1) paying as a verb, as in non-natives forking over money to "indians," which in quotes here, means those pseudo-"indians" who base their work on non-indigenes' understandings of indigenous approaches. 2) paying as an adjective, as in the new pseudo-"indians" becoming "indians" through payment. continuing today's language lesson, bobby "little bear who loses his way" brady will now demonstrate it in a sentence: the paying "indians" are paying "indians" for playing indian to become paying "indian" players. thanks, bobby.

but pseudo-ers/pretenders don't need to pay to play. in the next bbb post, we'll share with you what to do. stay tuned ...

greetings ...

a big brady brave greeting to the million brady brave readers out there. (a million or a hundred, something like that with some zeroes in it.) many thanks to old friends and new ones for reading. many thanks as well to those of you writing the bureau of brady braves (brady_braves_bureau@yahoo.com) with your praise and kindness. many thanks to www.racialicious.com/ for posting the bbb's bit on the civil rights game (back in march) and more recent bit on martha stewart. in a bit of a bloggin' slump right now as we work on several projects and likely prepare to relocate the redface "bureau" to elsewhere in indian country. (may soon return to central time zone, i.e., texas time). also rethinking the current brady brave boundaries and approach for the content here.

meanwhile, the bbb still expects to return with posts next week, quicker'n you can say carol-marsha-jan-cindy-mike-peter-bobby-greg-alice-sam-tiger-cousin oliver-and chief eagle cloud. (a special smoke signal shout-out to angie, brady bravin' fan! this list-a-familiar names is dedicated to you.)

peace,

bbb

Playing "Indian," The Week in Review

this week ... the Bureau of Brady Braves spotted a quick instance of redface in a rerun of The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour (1957-1960, CBS). the usual characters of lucy, ricky, ethel, and fred performed a skit set in the wild west. fred played a bartender; lucy played an "indian." with tomahawk in hand, she tackled fred behind the bar. they reappear in a few moments with fred's bald head now covered with lucy's hair, and lucy wears a bald skincap. so, playing "indian" means here: scalp or be scalped? of all american sitcom characters (and that includes thousands since the 1940s), lucille ball (the actress) may have played "indian" more than any other non-native character: in I Love Lucy episodes "the adagio" (as an "apache" dancin' 'round foolishly) and "the indian show" (as a hiawatha-wannabe) and in The Lucy Show (as the "wife" of an "indian chief" who gives her the state of utah for a wedding gift).

and where can you, like the bbb did this week, catch Lucy in redface? on a local Christian channel. no, not surprising. for the bbb, a local Christian channel supplies viewers with occasional "indian" players in the forms of Little House on the Prairie, The Andy Griffith Show, and The Beverly Hillbillies (i.e. "wholesome" family programming for ... you know ...) Ever thought about what constitutes family programming on Christian channels? ever thought who's included and who's excluded, exploited, and exoticized in their comedic programming?

earlier today, on superstation wgn, aired an episode of the sitcom home improvement. looked like an early episode, maybe season 1, in which the youngest son and his cub scout friends want to play "indian" like some other cub scouts they know did: by constructing a tipi and eating "beef jerky made from real meat," as the youngest son said. i had heard recently from a Ho-Chunk friend about home improvement and "indian" play. i'm guessing she was referring to this episode.

yesterday, on everybody loves raymond, a guest character (who's better known for portraying uncle leo on seinfeld) teased frank, ray's dad. there was talk of the macho, tough-talking frank petting a pet bunny that ray and his brother had when they were little. and the guest character said that he and frank's other friends were going on and on about it. while motioning like he was banging drums, frank's friend said, "it's like tom-toms. [chanting] 'Frank pet a-bunny, Frank pet a-bunny.'" a strange bit within the realm of "indian" play? [note: the bbb is not known for watching a lot of tv, especially since not much good is on tv. all three of the above references, for example, were caught while flipping channels during a time (5:00-6:00 pm) that the bbb's 10-month-old daughter was not chewing on the remote.]

elsewhere in playing "indian" this week, a "California man won $3.2 million on penny slot machines at the casino owned by the Pauma Band of Mission Indians." okay, not exactly playing "indian," but still worth noting it's the biggest prize ever in penny slots in California.

the bbb emailed martha stewart's tv people about the "katonah" trademark but no response. not surprised.

recently-retired "chief illiniwek" (formerly of the university of illinois) is currently accepting offers for summer gigs. so, for your next lone-ranger-and-tonto-themed birthday party, atlanta braves' tomahawk chop soiree, or intimate new age gathering, consider hiring "chief illiniwek" for your entertainment. call 1-900-ANTI-N-D-N, ask for the "Retired Racism" department, and tell 'em the BBB sent ya. first 50 callers receive a free foam tomahawk.

to read about three real indigenous folks (all Navajos) not playing "indian," but instead receiving doctorates in engineering in spring 2007 from the university of arizona, check out this article at indiancountry.com. congrats to all three and to all other indigenous graduates! the bbb wishes you well. may you use the education to benefit your peoples, your nations, yourselves.

Martha Stewart, Playing with "Indian" Names?

Well, this was a rare moment: a story on Indianz.com involving Martha Stewart. She has a place (i.e., 153-acre estate purchased in 2000 for the trifling cost of $16 million) in Katonah, NY. Now, Stewart wants to trademark “Katonah” for some of her products. Never mind if Katonah residents (of the Village Improvement Society in Katonah) are not pleased. Never mind if today’s descendants of Chief Katonah of the Lenape Nation are not pleased. As reported by Jim Fitzgerald, AP, Diana Pearson, a Stewart spokesperson, says Stewart "seeks to honor the town and the hamlet by using the word `Katonah.'"

And I suppose the Hornell Brewing Company had “honor” in mind when it slapped the revered name Crazy Horse on malt liquor bottles in 1992. (Crazy Horse, says David Wilkins (Lumbee) in American Indian Politics (2001), “is remembered as a staunch Sioux nationalist who remained committed to his people throughout his short life. He never signed a treaty with the federal government, and he opposed the use of alcohol by his people” (229)). I suppose Liz Claiborne, fashion guru, also had “honor” in mind when her clothing company threaded Crazy Horse (and Cherokee) on tags. Although one of Stewart’s lawyers said that his client’s use of the name “will not stop Katonah residents - or anyone else - from using the name Katonah exactly as they always have," what will happen? Likely, Katonah becomes synonymous with Martha Stewart products (much to Stewart’s delight, the BBB imagines), not with Lenape People, not with descendants of Katonah, not with respect for Indigenous Peoples, not with honor for Katonah, New York, residents. To Ms. Stewart and Ms. Stewart followers: One’s intentions do not always match the effects.

As said before in “Indian” mascot debates and other contested arenas, it is difficult to honor those who are not honored, including Autumn Scott (Ramapough Lenape), the New Jersey State Commission on Indian Affairs co-chair. “We trust,” Scott explains, “that Martha Stewart intended no malice in seeking to have her corporation trademark the name of one of our great ancestral leaders, but for her to say she is doing so to honor him and our tribe is absurd, especially when it is being done solely for profit.” Although Stewart is talking of honoring the town, a place of refuge for her, the town is named after the Lenape (Delaware) leader. Stewart, then, would do well to address certain Native People’s warranted concerns. So far, she has greeted them with silence.

Stewart may not talk, but we Brady Braves can. Thoughts of righteous anger can be sent to television@marthastewart.com (address available at www.marthastewart.com, more specifically this page) A customer service number available at www.marthastewartstore.com is 1-800-357-7060.